Hello and Goodbye!

I would first like to say that I have been blessed with two great new friends that have really shown themselves to be very compatible with me..they like to do things I like to do and we see many things eye to eye...I hope that I can live up to their expectations! To friends who have kinda let me go by the wayside...one especially..I am sorry that things didn't work out but its not anything I have done...you wouldn't let me be there for you so now I am not going to extend my hand again...wish you all the success and I have learned a great lesson...I will not over extend myself too soon again...well who am I kidding....I always do that burned or not you have to be yourself!... So back to a good rant...I really hate lazy ppl without a good work ethic...too bad they don't make a pill for lazy or an anti-lazy aerosol...wouldn't that be great! Don't really have much to say except that I am always greatful for my partner...and my two good friends Tim and John...Tim hang in there you are one of the greatest people I know! L8T!

Well...I must say I like this venue....at least its better than getting drunk, or cutting oneself....today has been one of the worst days .....I have never felt so alone in all my life...and no I am not suicidal or any of that shit but I must say this is the lowest I have ever been since I was a teenager...when I used to get my books knocked out from my arms...when people picked at me for being different...when my nickname was "problem child"...I think maybe emergency therapy may be in order...it helped before...can't help the feeling that something really bad is coming down the road....just will handle it as I always have though...with sheer determination....maybe it won't be so bad who knows!....

Friends

Ok so here goes nothing...my first official rant is about friendships...hmmm shall I go on...yes..I have been lonely for quiet some time...I know that I am full of opinions and I am able to voice them without solicitation! But I am also a very caring and forgiving person full of ideas and encouragement for those that are willing to try...so why is that I have never had a best friend..do I piss them off or push them away? I have to think that I am the only common denominator in my life! Yet the more I analyze myself I know that there must be people like me(maybe they are in the crazy house!)..I know that it takes time for friendships to develop and that some are just for a season..seems sometimes the only reason that people are friends are because they share a common lifestyle such as being gay or having children or work...not because they are interested in hobbies, likes, dislikes..sayin this friendships seem to be many times centered around what to eat or what movie to watch..for me I hope there is more to life and friendships than this! It's not that I don't enjoy these things because I do but does anyone think that this is just truly scratching the surface? I bought my boat not only for my personal enjoyment but I have encourage many to get their boating license so they could enjoy themselves with me...learn something new...the cost of a boating license is around $25. Yet not one friend has followed thru with this...I would be thrilled if anyone would...well that's a new blog start!

I am gonna try a new forum...blogging....this may eliminate the abuse of Facebook....this is my first test!